The last time I (Daniel) was in Yosemite was 2016 when the Chossboys completed a 4-day ascent of The Salathe Wall on El Capitan. In October 2022 — exactly 6 years later — I went to Yosemite with Nick and my partner Kat.
My only goal was to onsight The North Face of the Rostrum — an 8-pitch 5.11c crack climbing test piece — with Nick. It was a dream of ours since 2016. Kat's goal was to have fun and climb moderate routes in the valley. As you'll find out, it's easy to have fun in Yosemite but onsighting The Rostrum is a challenge. Climbing routes near my limit like The Rostrum are like a mental war of attrition. Climbing feels easy when I am fresh and energetic. At some point, my motivation and energy wane. But the rock remains the same. I have to push myself somehow — I use deep breaths and self-encouragement to help me up the wall. In the lowest points, I struggle to make upwards progress by any means necessary -- cursing loudly, yelling with aggression, or sometimes even taking a minute to cry. It's those emotional moments that stand out in my memory. Later on as I replay them in my mind, I find myself facing the "real" me — the ugly, imperfect me. I find that rock-bottom moments are like flint for the fire of personal growth.
Our trip started off with with one of the weirdest shopping experiences of my life. My luggage got lost in Toronto and we wasted two days in the Bay Area waiting. On the third day, I called Westjet and insisted on getting a reimbursement — we needed to leave and I was going to buy gear whether my bag came or not. So Nick and I rushed to spend over $2,000 on climbing and camping gear in the final hour before REI closed. We were finally on our way to the Valley.
The North Face of the Rostrum is a Yosemite classic and it has quite the history. It was first climbed in two days by Warren Harding in 1962. Stonemaster Ron Kauk freed the Rostrum in 1977. Since then, it's become known as one of the best 5.11 crack climbs in North America. Peter Croft and John Bachar were said to do free solo laps on it in the 80s and 90s. Dean Potter famously free-BASE soloed the Alien Roof 5.12c Variation. Alex Honnold free soloed the same variation in Free Solo — the Oscar-winning film that had a surprise feature from the Choss Boys. "The Rostrum is a truly rad climb." says the Mountain Project description, "Every pitch is high quality and would be sought-after individual classics were they at any crag, but stacked on top of each other they create a superb and memorable challenge. The climbing is secure, well protected, and physical." On October 14th, 2022, we approached The Rostrum at 7AM from the top of the formation and rappelled to the base of the route in the dawn light. At 8:30AM we chatted with a British couple who were about to start climbing. She was climbing with ease and he was telling us about her impressive UK competition history. Nick was visibly impatient as he was eager that we start climbing. As I prepared to lead the first pitch, I was outwardly calm but my mind was racing. "It looks runout up there, she must be strong." I thought, "I can do this. I just have to move confidently. It's only a 5.9." The mental games were easy at the start of the day. Pitch 1 was a 5.9 layback that turned into an insecure chimney with a foot cut to exit onto the belay ledge. I felt strong but in a moment of insecurity in the chimney, I placed a piece out of the way of the line. The drag on my rope was embarrassing as I joined the Brits on the crowded belay ledge. I could sense Nick's impatience from 25 meters below as I spent some time to build a belay that would minimize rope friction. Nothing worked so I ended up straining on the rope to take in the slack as he followed up the pitch. Nick arrived at the belay restless as the British guy started leading up the second pitch. Pitch 2 was the first of three 5.11s on the route. It started with a runout balancey traverse crux. Our British friend climbed past the crux and was well beyond the halfway point when we suddenly heard him shout. There was a big "whoosh", and she caught him on the biggest whipper I've ever seen. He had fallen past his belayer and a total distance of 15 meters. We made sure they were both okay as they both panted and swore. Seemingly unfazed, Nick led the pitch confidently and I followed without falling. The section where the Brit fell was indeed tricky. Despite witnessing the massive whipper, I led Pitch 3 confidently — a long 5.10 hand crack in a beautiful corner system. At the top was a large ledge where we had lunch. This was where our British friends bailed because they didn't feel ready for 5 more pitches of The Rostrum. "I'm already tired and the first three pitches are the easiest ones." I tried to reel in my doubts as we had lunch, " I only have two more pitches to lead and Nick will lead the hardest ones. I only have two more pitches to lead. We can do this."
Pitch 5 was when my motivation and energy started to wane. Nick correctly guessed that the last 5.10d layback section would be gruelling, but he encouraged me to "climb without any doubts". After placing my last piece before the pumpy layback crux, I steeled myself for the final 5-meters. I went deep into my self and planted the idea that falling would be safe. The first few moves felt secure. Smearing on the slippery granite forced me to pull harder with my hands. Then my forearms started burning.
My exhaustion lingered as Nick led pitch 6 — a strenuous 5.10 off-width crack. Although pitch 4 (the 5.11c thin crack) was the highest graded, comments on Mountain Project said that the two off-width pitches (pitch 6 and 8) were the "real" cruxes. Nick thankfully found that his knee fit perfectly in the hardest sections. Coupled with his solid hand-stacking technique, Nick onsighted the pitch. My knee didn't fit quite as well but I still managed to send the pitch — although not without a cost. Even with proper technique, off-width climbing is strenuous. By the end of the pitch, I was physically drained and my mental fortitude was suffering. "Damn, that was exhausting. Where the hell will I find the energy to lead this next 5.11 pitch?" I thought as I sorted gear with Nick at the belay. "This is my last lead of the day, then Nick can finish it off. I'll give it a try." Pitch 7 was a formidable overhanging 5.11a hand crack. It was my last lead of the day. I should've been ecstatic but I just felt worn out. I was so tempted to ask Nick to take the lead but it would have been the worst kind of failure to give up without even trying. So with Nick's encouragement, I summoned energy from who-knows-where and started climbing. I managed to get up the first half and then fatigue hit hard as a approached the crux. It was 5PM and daylight was fading. Nick was relying on me to lead this pitch. I needed to get to the top by any means necessary. So I started pulling on my gear, and even that was too much. The lowest point of the day for me was when I couldn't aid through the crux. The lack of footholds combined with the steepness meant that pulling on gear was still extremely taxing. I was 100% spent. Slumped and utterly dejected, I sheepishly asked Nick if he would give it a try. The lowest point of the day for Nick was when he said "no dude". He saw how depleted I was but he didn't want to risk jeopardizing his clean onsight of The Rostrum. He was afraid that leading would increase his chance of falling compared to following the pitch on top-rope. Despite Nick's rejection coming from a place of ego, it was exactly what I needed. For us to climb The Rostrum, I had to finish this pitch. "Jesus Christ. Why am I so weak? I just need to do two fucking pull ups and I'll be done." My thoughts weren't pretty. "God damnit! Let's fucking do this." I pulled on my gear and yelled past the steep crux that I couldn't do before. Then I started free climbing again 3 meters before the anchors. My exhaustion bloomed into exhilaration. However, on the final mantel to gain the belay ledge, everything gave way and I tumbled into the air. I fell 3 meters but I wasn't even phased. I tried again with more yelling and succeeded. Nick's "no dude" had turned the impossible into the inevitable. I was completely spent but couldn't stop grinning. Our stoke was high as Nick followed the pitch without falling — continuing his streak of onsighting. There was one more pitch to go. Pitch 8 started with a 5.10 traverse and continued into a runout 5.9 off-width — which was more of a mental challenge than a physical one for Nick. I couldn't see him climb but I knew he was hesitating. It took him longer to climb than any other pitch. Earlier, he would have taken the runout in stride. The mental games continued until the very end. The light was fading when Nick hollered at the top of the route. It had already been a 12-hour effort. I struggled to follow the pitch but my euphoria was sinking in. I joined Nick as the sun was setting. We hugged and watched the sun dip out of sight. We'd climbed The Rostrum! Nick and I faced self-doubt, fatigue, and failure on The Rostrum. We pushed ourselves until we completed the route. Despite fighting hard, we didn't win the mental war. In fact, there is no winning or losing. This climb was a small but memorable battle in the life-long war of finding personal growth and self-actualization. In the words of Jack Kerouac — “In the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.”
Accomplishing Kat's goal of having fun on moderates was a walk in the park compared to the Rostrum. We climbed almost every other day and had the time of our lives. The routes we climbed were: Super Slide, New Dimensions, The Regular Route on Higher Cathedral Spire, Absolutely Free, Royal Arches, Central Pillar of Frenzy, Commitment, Munginella, and a few single pitch routes at Pat and Jack.
1 Comment
Marie wadden
2/7/2023 05:56:48 pm
Talk about finding strength when you need it. You dug very deep for this climb Daniel, and this account is SO impressive. Thanks for taking me with you on that climb!
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